Mighty Morphin Religion Rangers
by OptimusPrime217
Summary: When Zordon thinks that the Rangers have been screwing up too much, he brings in some much needed help... From a Higher Power.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Power Rangers. At all. Maybe in the future, who knows; I can remain optimistic. The only characters in this story that are mine are the White Catholic Ranger and "most" of his team showing up in the future.**

It would've been a normal day at the Command Center if it weren't for the fact that Zordon had his six warriors, his Power Ranger- Tommy, Kimberly, Billy, Rocky, Aisha, and Adam- drop whatever they were doing and teleport.

"Zordon, what's going on?" Tommy, White Ranger, leader of the team, and scene hogging jackass asked his mentor.

"Rangers, as you know, ever since Lord Zedd and Rita Repulsa joined forces, you've… well…" the almighty Zordon couldn't come up with the right- well, less hurtful-words.

"Getting your asses handed to you on a silver platter?" Alpha 5 cracked at his friends; who were less hurt and more shocked at Alpha using such language.

"Alpha!" Zordon yelled at his little robot helper.

"But, Zordon it's true. After the thunder zords were destroyed you kept muttering about dumbasses and stupidity," Alpha confessed, much to the Rangers' shock.

"Is this true, Zordon?" Tommy asked, the tears nearly dripping from his eyes.

"Well, it's not as bad as _some_ people would have you think," Zordon glared at Alpha 5. "But I do believe that as the forces of evil grow stronger, we could use some extra help."

"You mean the White Falcon Ranger powers aren't enough?" Tommy asked, not noticing the glares of all the other Rangers for trying to make this all about him.

Zordon sighed. "No, Tommy, they're not enough. That's why to my surprise, we have found another Power Ranger."

All the Rangers gasped.

"You mean there are more Rangers beside us?" Kimberly asked.

"Yes, Kimberly. Behold…" as soon as Zordon said those words, a white light- much like Tommy's when he became the White Ranger- shone down from behind the Rangers. "Our new Ranger."

The Rangers looked up to see…nothing. There was a bright white light but no new Ranger.

"What the…? Alpha, where's the new Ranger?" Zordon asked.

"I don't know, Zordon. I set him up there for the big show," Alpha explained.

"Oh, for the love of… new Ranger! Wherever you are, get in here right now!" Zordon demanded.

"I'm coming, you blood-curdling cunt!" the Rangers' eyes widened once they heard a strong, Scottish accent echoing from the back of the Command Center.

Then, a door opened near the back, followed by a burst of fog. Then, came the Ranger's salvation. Walking into the Command Center- well, actually he was wobbling drunkenly- was the new ranger. He was a tall man with many muscles, wearing a white costume much like Tommy; except his had no shield but instead a golden cross that covered his entire torso and his shoulders; his gloves and boots were not covered in diamonds like the other Rangers but in similar golden crosses in a series. But most noticeable was his helmet; it didn't have a molded mouth but a visor in the shape of a cross that covered the whole face.

The new Ranger looked up at Zordon and the Power Rangers… then cringed at the bright lights.

"Fucking lights! Do you really have to blind a man after he's drunken some fine Irish whiskey?" the new Ranger confirmed that he was the owner of the foul-mouthed Scottish accent.

Deciding that this was going on far enough, Zordon decided to introduce the new member of the team.

"Rangers, please let me introduce you to the White Catholic Ranger," Zordon introduced the Rangers to their new teammate; who simply waved at the teenagers while clutching his head.

Being the leader, Tommy decided to be the first to introduce himself to the other White Ranger. He walked over to the hung-over Scot and offered his hand.

"Hi, I'm…" before Tommy could introduce himself; the White Catholic Ranger slapped aside the White Ranger's hand.

"Get out of my way, you long-haired panty-waste!" the White Catholic Ranger pushed Tommy aside and stomped towards Zordon's tube.

"You left me in a fucking harness, twenty feet above the fucking ground, for three fucking hours!" the White Catholic Ranger screamed at the floating head; ignoring the stunned teenagers behind him.

"I told you that for the introduction of a new member, it had to be big and spectacular," Zordon explained.

"But waiting for three fucking hours?" the White Catholic Ranger yelled.

The Rangers finally had enough of being silenced by the rude new Ranger and decided to speak up.

"Um, excuse me? Who or what exactly are you?" Kimberly asked; catching the new Ranger's attention.

"And why are you using such horrible words?" Aisha asked.

"You're not another homeless drifter in spandex that snuck in through a broken vent, are you?" Billy asked, remembering the one time another alcoholic came in and urinated all over the control panels.

"No, damn it!" the White Catholic Ranger quickly removed his helmet to reveal a man in his early 20's with black hair, a slight stubble, and brown eyes.

"My name's Father Timothy O'Malley; but everyone calls me Tim," the White Catholic Ranger introduced himself.

"Does that mean you're like… a priest or something?" Kimberly asked, much to the Scotsman's frustration.

"No, I'm a fucking Greek Orthodox Rabbi. Of course I'm a fucking priest, you harlot!" Tim screamed at the Pink Ranger, causing her to whimper silently.

"You do know that as a Ranger, you shouldn't be so rude," Tommy, always wanting to be the wise leader, preached to the Scotsman.

"Fuck you. I'm older than you; this cunt-in-a bowl left me in a harness in the air for three fucking hours just to impress you all; and I've got a hangover so bad that it would make Saint Benedict start swearing and throwing stones. I'll be as fucking rude as me honor and the Lord will allow me. Which goes pretty fucking far," Tim explained to the younger, shocked rangers.

"Um… since you're the new Ranger and we've never met you before; are you going to explain your origins? Or how you got your powers?" Rocky asked, trying to break the ice between the new and old.

"In due time, lad; right now I've got to pray and sleep it off," Tim politely explained. He then took out a flask from his costume and walked towards the door he entered in while drinking. But before he could enter the door, he passed out in front of the viewing globe; snoring and saying Hail Mary's at the same time.

The main group of rangers stared at the sight of a Power Ranger, passed out drunk on the floor of the Command Center; the holy ground of teenagers with attitude.

Once the shock cleared up, the Rangers turned around to stare at their mentor.

"H-He had really good credentials," Zordon stammered, hoping that his warriors would accept his logic; but the rangers just continued staring at him.

"Well, if you kids didn't keep screwing up, we wouldn't need the White Catholic Ranger! And what the hell were you kids doing when I called you that took you three hours to get here?" Zordon demanded.

The Rangers bowed their heads in shame. All the while, Alpha was behind them; putting a pillow under Tim's head and covering him with a blanket so that he could rest comfortably.


End file.
